You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize