Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
