none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
