apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize