I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I will die if light touches me.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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