saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
