We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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