I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
