Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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