dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
