There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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