Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
