We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
