dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize