i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
