But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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