i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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