it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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