What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it was like eating out sand paper
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
