please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
