its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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