Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
