Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
