Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
