I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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