The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
