Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
