His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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