So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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