its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I had to cum in my sink.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
