I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
