Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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