I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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