The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
