I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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