the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think my vagina is haunted
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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