UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Randomize
