ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize