I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
