would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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