tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
