im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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