This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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