She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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