Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
