I just saw a hot homeless man
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
