Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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