Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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