pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What a dumb baby whore.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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