she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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