he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
