My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize