morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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