i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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