I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
