Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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