Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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