I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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