i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
