Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
