I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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