He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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