arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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