i just made my gag reflex go away.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Randomize
