My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
