Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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