piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize