Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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