i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
this just has baby written all over it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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