I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
