'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
