the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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