You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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