I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
