Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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