apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
