it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
