Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
