i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
