Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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